4 Reasons Christians Are Less Hospitable Than Before

Perhaps it’s an overstatement to say the practice of hospitality is lost. But it does need some resuscitation, to be freshly modeled and taught. Even when they would really like to do so, many people find themselves hesitant to extend hospitality to others. Four factors contribute to the decline among Christians of hosting and acting generously toward others.

1. Privatization

It seems that some people feel burdened, inconvenienced, or uninterested in sharing their lives. A hardness of heart reflects itself in an unwillingness to open up to others, to invite them to our tables, and to serve them from the bounty the Lord has given us. Perhaps past hurts create a guardedness, or selfishness erodes the desire to share. But in any case, many people think of Christian living in exclusively private terms. They have reduced the faith to “a personal relationship with Jesus” without recognizing either our union with other Christians or the necessity of sharing the faith and their lives with non-Christians. When that happens, hospitality suffers.

2. Fear of man

For some people, the fear of man plays a part in undermining a culture of hospitality. That fear may take the form of a fear of rejection. My wife and I could have easily given in to that fear when our fellow members refused our offers of hospitality. Or the fear of man may express itself in embarrassment or shame at the prospect of having someone in their “meager” homes. A worldly mentality assumes that to show hospitality we must have showcase homes and fine place settings (at least as fine as that neighbor or friend who has all the “really nice” stuff we covet). And so, some Christians neglect this important ministry because they’re actually thinking of themselves and comparing themselves to the wrong standard—other fallen people.

A hardness of heart reflects itself in an unwillingness to open up to others, to invite them to our tables, and to serve them from the bounty the Lord has given us.

3. Passivity

Passivity is a third factor contributing to the decline in hospitality. We can be too nonchalant in cultivating meaningful affection for one another. We wait for the relationship to come to us. We want it to be “natural” and to “just flow” or “click.” There is such a thing as trying too hard, but I think many of us are far from that. We try too little. We’d rather enjoy the coziness of being alone with our own thoughts, interests, and friends from some yesteryear like high school or college. We don’t like the toil of getting to know others and opening ourselves up (much less “prying” into others’ lives) in a substantive, transparent way. But for hospitality to thrive, we must relinquish our passive approach to friendships.

4. Xenophobia

Some people fear others who are different from themselves. They notice differences in appearance or culture and they react with fear and distrust. Crossing cultural and ethnic boundaries seems as impossible and dangerous as Evel Knievel jumping the Snake River Canyon in a homemade rocket motorcycle. Hospitality is set aside in favor of fear.