How to Develop Mature Character in Children

It’s not enough to say, “My child has character.” All kids do. What adjectives would you use to describe your children’s character? Mature? Immature? Healthy? Unhealthy? Complete? Growing? Biblical?

Character marks everyone. It’s a part of our reputation. Most children (and adults) display some positive character qualities and some negative. They may be selfish, but also kind. Stingy, but also generous with some people. Responsible, but sometimes lazy.

Three factors can help you judge how mature your children’s character is. First, examine how complete their character is and if they use more positive qualities than negative—agreeable versus disagreeable, self-controlled versus impulsive, optimistic versus pessimistic.

Maturity also includes how consistently children use positive qualities. Are they always, frequently, or rarely submissive? Diligent? Resilient?

When you and your children know the Spirit and gain experience in hearing and following His voice, discernment and obedience can follow.

Also, how automatically do they use the traits? Do they need to be retaught or reminded to use some? Are some automatically used when you’re not watching?

To mature children’s character, be alert to which traits you model consistently for your children and which ones you don’t. Which ones do you need to talk about, teach, correct, compliment, and reteach? And pray! Your children can be truly marked by their character. It can be who they are and not just what they do.

Mature character will develop when you intentionally prioritize it. This is parenting differently! You can do this!

Marked by Biblical Character

Everything I wrote above is also relevant for helping children develop biblical character. What will you need to add to your arsenal so your children will want to use a biblical character and will be able to do so?

The first thing I have to mention isn’t a thing, and it’s not something you add, but Someone your children choose or who chooses them. An interest in God and pursuing His ways that result in a life-saving personal relationship with Christ by faith in God will significantly influence your children’s character. Then as you and maybe others disciple them, they’ll grow as Christ did “in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people.”[1]Their character will become more biblical when Jesus becomes the Lord of their thoughts, feelings, choices, and decisions.

The Holy Spirit will help them. He is the closest thing you and your children have to a sensor like my rental car had. He is available to those who have trusted in Christ for their salvation. He is a powerful advocate and much better than a sensor on any car. He makes us holy, guides us to truth, dwells in us, and teaches, helps, counsels, convicts, empowers, gifts, seals, and intercedes.[2] When you and your children know the Spirit and gain experience in hearing and following His voice, discernment and obedience can follow.

[1] Luke 2:52 NLT.

[2] John 14:26; John 16:13–15; John 16:7–8; Acts 1:8; Romans 8:10–11; Romans 8:26–27; 1 Corinthians 3:16; 1 Corinthians 12:7–11; Galatians 5:16–25; Ephesians 1:13; and Ephesians 1:17–20.