Keep Christ as Your First Love

Those in the church of Ephesus are commended for their perseverance, labor, and intolerance of evil men and false teachers, but they are rebuked for leaving their first love (Revelation 2:2–4). What does it mean for Christ to be your first love, and that you have renounced a competing love?

Embrace Your First Love

Supreme loyalty to Christ. Your love for the Lord will be tested when you are tempted to serve other gods (see Deuteronomy 13:2–3). Jesus explained that loving Him is having and keeping His commandments (John 14:15).

Preoccupation with Christ’s desires. Jesus modeled the abiding life by His preoccupation with the Father’s desires and “always [doing] the things that are pleasing to Him” (John 8:29). So the major preoccupation of the believer in Christ is to be what Christ desires, even if pleasing Him brings you the displeasure of others (Galatians 1:10).

Hating evil. The love for what is good is also accompanied by a hatred of that which opposes it (Psalm 97:10).

Signs When You Leave Your First Love

Conversely there are several signs that one has left their first love:

Not loving Christ’s appearing (2 Timothy 4:8). The three stages of the Jewish marriage were a betrothal or a binding engagement; secondly, the groom coming to claim his bride and take her to his home; and thirdly, a marriage feast or celebration that followed (Revelation 19:5). The believer in Christ is said to now be betrothed to Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2). We now await our Lord’s return to earth to claim us as His bride and take us to heaven (John 14:1–3). It would be unthinkable to be engaged and never think of your wedding day! This would be a symptom that something is certainly wrong with your love relationship! Do you love Christ’s appearing?

“An idol is that which we are looking to in order to meet the thirst of our heart.”

Fear of losing something or someone. If you have an obsessive fear of losing something or someone and cannot trust God with this fear, this thing or person that you fear losing is probably your first love. Once Jesus spoke to a group of people who were preoccupied with seeking glory from men. For that reason the love of God was not in them, He said, and that was why they could not believe God (John 5:42, 44). Their fear of losing the approval of others caused them to neglect God’s love.

Sensing His commandments are burdensome. If you find His commandments to be burdensome, you may have left your first love (cf. 1 John 5:3).

Preoccupation with other things. Where does your mind go when you have leisure time? Where it usually goes is likely the direction of your first love.

The Solution

Our Lord does not point out a problem without also pointing us to a solution. He tells us in Revelation 2:5 to…

Remember. Remember that our relationship with God started when our mouths were shut (Romans 3:19). We realized our total need and dependence on our Savior to rescue us from our lost condition.

Repent. Repent of any idol in your life. An idol is that which we are looking to in order to meet the thirst of our heart.

Repeat. Do the deeds that you did at first. Just as you began the Christian life in total dependence on Christ for your salvation, so look to Him now for every spiritual, emotional, and physical need in your life each moment of each day. As Paul wrote, “Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him” (Colossians 2:6).

Outcomes of Obedience

There are many fruit to keeping Christ as your first love. Here are three key outcomes:

1. Confidence during trying times. We can be more than a conqueror in our trials “through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:37). You can make it through anything if someone understands you, loves you, and is with you, caring for your eternal good.
2. Trust in God’s timing. People had waited for the Messiah for many years but He came in the fullness of time (Galatians 4:4) and died at the right time (Romans 5:6). Notice what John 11:3–6 teaches us about trusting God’s timing: If you know that Christ loves you (v. 5), you can trust His timing even when it seems He is doing nothing (v. 6)! You do not get upset at Jesus’ action in this passage because you know the end of the story.[1] As you wait on your loving God today, trust His timing and purposes even when it seems He is not in a hurry.
3. Ability to face unhealthy fears.[2] You will never know that God loves you as He desires you to until you experience His helping you understand and process your fears (1 John 4:18).

[1] In John 11:3–6, the disciples and two sisters (Mary and Martha) had to learn to trust God’s timing despite their urgent cry for help (v. 3), Christ’s perplexing response (v. 4), Christ’s affirmation of His personal love, and an unexpected delay (v. 6) that made little sense to any of the parties.

[2] For further insight in processing your fears, see How to Be a Soul Physician, 239–58.