Purity Culture and False Advertising

A misstep of purity culture is assuming that sex within marriage is a sexual utopia. Walking into marriage believing this can lead to confusion, frustration, and feeling like something is wrong with you if sex doesn’t seem perfect immediately. The fire in the fireplace needs tending and care; building a good fire takes time. Sex can be imperfect for those who remained virgins until their wedding night and for those who didn’t. There is healing for some and learning for others. The point is that marriage is the only proper relationship in which those aspects of a sexual relationship should be experienced. From repairing brokenness to learning the complexities of the human body, marriage is the forum that God provided.

In a world that has departed from God’s design for sex (and has celebrated that departure and sought to indoctrinate the next generation in it), the societal consequences of sexual sin will continue to be a reality in our lives. The anti-purity culture angst seems to want to pretend all is fine, but it is not. People are broken, and brokenness is the only logical outcome of departing Eden and God’s design. When we have, as Paul stated, sinned “against our own bodies,” the way forward is not to get upset with those who continue to contend for God’s design but rather to believe the gospel and embrace the great alternative that Paul reveals: “But anyone joined to the Lord is one spirit with him” (1 Cor. 6:17).

The path back to Eden is paved in Christ.

The only way to healing is in Christ. While our union with Christ restores our relationship with God instantly and for eternity, the long trail back to Eden begins with individual steps of obedience. Our sanctification includes pursuing God’s design for sex, and, by His grace, He allows those who have sinned to recover His purposes and begin living according to His design. For those who have either sinned or been sinned against by others, have hope.

My prayer is that those who have been corrupted by sin and carried into darkness will believe that Jesus came to redeem, restore, and make new. Jesus came to bring life and light that shines in the darkest places. The path back to Eden is paved in Christ.