Sex Is Like Fire

Purity culture often talked about sex in a manner that suggested it was a bad thing and should be feared. This is a fair critique. In God’s design, nothing could be further from the truth. Sex is a beautiful, powerful thing that must be handled responsibly. Let me give an analogy. I’m from Florida, so having a fire burning in the fireplace is uncommon. But on the few nights a year we actually use our fireplace, our home has all the good feelings of Christmas, warmth, and nostalgia. Bring on the hot apple cider and the Hallmark Christmas movies—we have a fire burning! Fire in the fireplace is a wonderful thing. But if that fire escapes the fireplace and spreads even two feet and reaches the living room rug, this would be a terrible thing. We would rush to put it out so it wouldn’t spread. This would definitely put a damper on our Hallmark movie. Fire itself isn’t the issue, but the location of the fire makes a drastic difference. Put on your fuzzy socks if there is fire in the fireplace; frantically grab the fire extinguisher if there is fire on the rug. Fire in a fireplace is great, fire on the rug is not great. (That’s why a loving parent would teach their kids how to properly behave around fire.)

Sex itself isn’t the problem. It is sex outside of God’s design that is the problem, like fire on a rug instead of in the fireplace.

Sex itself isn’t the problem. It is sex outside of God’s design that is the problem, like fire on a rug instead of in the fireplace. Sex isn’t evil, but taken outside its prescribed barriers, it can be incredibly destructive. When sex is presented as something bad, when God is thought of as some sort of killjoy, we are implying something that is inconsistent with His creative power and design. (Who do you think invented sex? Hint: it’s not people from the 1960s.) We should instead take our cue from the writer of Hebrews, who said, “Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers” (13:4). Sex should be held in high esteem in the same way one would look out at a mountain range and marvel at what God has designed and created. Moreover, Hebrews tells us what the opposite looks like—sexual immorality and adultery. It’s never just sex.

I often tell our congregation:

Sex is not for “in love” people.
Sex is not for mature people.
Sex is not for careful people.
Sex is for married people.