The Importance of Flexibility in Motherhood

Why is it we believe that the way we plan things is the right way—or even the only way? Let’s say it’s a Saturday afternoon. You’ve fed your kids and you’re getting ready to put your two-year-old down for her nap. The usual nap routine is to finish lunch, read two books, and then put her in her crib to sleep. Today she wants to go outside and see the butterflies. Why not be flexible? How about five minutes of butterflies and then five minutes of reading?

Or you’re planning on a night out with your husband, but he comes home with a splitting headache. He asks if plans could be changed to stay home, order in, and watch a movie. Couldn’t an evening home with your husband be just as valuable as a night out?

When Jesus lived on this earth, He set the example for how to live out the ministry of interruption.

It’s a Tuesday afternoon. You plan to take your teen out for a Coke tonight. As you’re preparing dinner, she opens up about her struggles with a friendship at school. It’s not the best time for the discussion. It would be better to wait until just the two of you are out later. But teenagers are emotional beings; you can’t “schedule” important con-versations. So why not now? Why can’t you push the pause button on dinner prep to tend to the heart of your daughter?

Yes, there’s the practical side to each of these scenarios. Your two-year-old thrives on routine and you don’t want to mess that up. However, will a slight change in the routine really throw the whole routine out the window? Not going out on a date changes the dynamics of your time together, but you can still be together, can’t you? And yes, there are usually other people in the house who are hungry and looking forward to dinner. But what if it was part of your family’s DNA that people always take priority over tasks? Would the others understand?

Most of us didn’t grow up in an environment with that much flexibility and sensitivity to others. We don’t have any model for this kind of mindset unless we look at the life of Jesus Christ. When Jesus lived on this earth, He set the example for how to live out the ministry of interruption.

In my book Real Moms . . . Real Jesus, I take a look at the human experience of Jesus. Many of His human experiences are like ours as moms, and handling interruptions was part of that. There’s the time when Jesus was on His way from Judea to Galilee. The trip took Him through a city called Samaria, where He met a woman at the well when He stopped to get a drink and rest from His trip. Jesus was headed to Galilee with a purpose in mind, but His journey was interrupted by this interaction with a Samaritan woman. The narrative says that Jesus was worn out from the trip, yet He embraced this opportunity and engaged in a life-changing conversation with this woman.

There is another story in the Bible about a time when Jesus went through Jericho on His way to Jerusalem. There was a tax collector named Zacchaeus who wanted so badly to see Jesus that He climbed a tree to catch a glimpse of Him. Jesus saw Zacchaeus and told him that they needed to spend time together. Jesus had a plan in place, but when life happened, He adjusted.

My flexibility has increased the more I’ve learned to let God lead my life.

Ministry for Jesus was the person standing in front of Him, regard-less of whether that interaction was planned or spontaneous. We can learn from Jesus’ examples. Ministry for us is the person standing in front of us—even if we weren’t expecting things to happen the way they are playing out.

My flexibility has increased the more I’ve learned to let God lead my life. In fact, I’ve come to see many of these not-planned-for moments not as interruptions but rather as God’s appointments. They are moments I didn’t plan for, but God did.

On my second day of writing this chapter, I had plans for lunch after church, but my husband, who had been camping with a couple of guy friends about fifteen miles from our house, asked me to join him at the campsite for lunch. My two teens had already asked if they could each go home with a friend. It wasn’t my plan at all to go to the campground; in fact, it wasn’t even on the radar screen and I was hardly dressed for it. However, after changing my plans and joining him for lunch at the campsite, I could see why it was God’s plan. I was able to “step into his world” for a bit, allowing us to connect in a way that was important to him. I was able to visit with his friend who was still at the campsite. The three of us enjoyed a leisurely lunch and relaxed conversation. My husband later thanked me for changing plans and coming out to the campsite.

When it comes to adjusting plans, how flexible are you? I wish I could say I’m characterized by flexibility. I’m more easygoing than I used to be, but I’m still working on this in my own life. Some personalities lend themselves to this more than others. A creative, spontaneous mom finds flexibility much easier than a type A, get-it-done mom who likes her ducks in a row. Regardless of your personality, however, the ability to be flexible has a direct correlation to how many activities are crammed into your day. Just how much can one mom really do?